I'll be posting random skits I've wrote for every time I've participated in battle i felt was stupidly ridiculous. Similar to Mint's rage comics, except I'm not artistically inclined, so all you get is a hand-written story! These battles features either me being salty during or about the battle outcome, or the other player being salty, or both.
Also keep in mind, these battles were rage-inducing, so I will have to remind you that there WILL be profanity in these posts. So if you REALLY mind your virgin eyes reading these posts, don't look ANY further.But I doubt any of you have a virgin mind, so really I shouldn't be saying this. >.>
Chapter 1: A Great Streak Broken
Falaflame raised his cup up in celebration of the last battle. "Alright, guys, we did well against Blue's team. Let's march forward with another battle!"
Soul and Kyre pumped each other's fists. "I'm down for another one," said Soul, "May my lucky charm keep us undefeated!"
Consumptus shrugged. "We're at Level 11 now. That's how many battles have we not lost?"
Kaishin gave the others a weird look. "Don't get cocky, guys. I don't want to see that outlook flip upside down whenever that streak gets broken."
Mike just popped another mug of whiskey, not even caring what's going on at the tavern. "Does it really matter?"
But the conversation got broken by a battle manager coming to inform the team about something. "Zoryou has joined your battle! Magic Library, 6 units, max level 11."
Falaflame smirked. "Well, he's going against us. Ready your shit, guys!"
Aless scoffed. "Pfft. This'll be no sweat."
Falaflame chipped in, saying, "Doesn't matter to me. All that matters is, you guys are getting your day's work in."
The battle had started. After about 4 turns of dancing, Zoryou left an opening for a two kill first strike.
"That's two kills right there, guys," called out Falaflame. "If we manage to miss one, it's ok. We can get by with 1 dead unit on their end. Just make sure they die!"
Aless moved in to ready up on the first target. "Well, time to seal this battle in the..."
Aless attacks! [Item: Hatchet; Skill: Counter; ATK: 13; HIT: 74.5; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 75.6; Crit - 20.2
It's a miss!
Kyoko Himeji counter-attacks! [Item: Wind; Skill: Nihil; ATK: 8; HIT: 100; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 57.8; Crit - 77
It's a hit! Aless takes 8 damage. (24/32 HP)
Aless gained 3 experience points!
Kyoko Himeji gained 15 experience points!
"...bag..."
Falaflame covered his face and started muttering. "Shit... well, we're off to a great start... let's kill at least one unit, cuz two kills is now out of the question!"
"On it!" said both Kaishin and Soul at the same time.
Kaishin attacks! [Item: Tendril; Skill: Pursuit; ATK: 10; HIT: 81; CRIT: 1]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 69.6; Crit - 28.9
It's a hit! Momoka Suzuki takes 10 damage. (22/32 HP)
Momoka Suzuki counter-attacks! [Item: Knife; Skill: Counter; ATK: 11; HIT: 63.5; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 48.9; Crit - 80.2
It's a hit! Kaishin takes 11 damage. (16/27 HP)
Kaishin attacks a second time! [Item: Tendril; Skill: Pursuit; ATK: 10; HIT: 81; CRIT: 1]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 73.5; Crit - 72.4
Kaishin's Pursuit skill activated!
It's a hit! Momoka Suzuki takes 10 damage. (12/32 HP)
Kaishin gained 15 experience points!
Momoka Suzuki gained 14 experience points!
Soul attacks! [Item: Lightning; Skill: Pursuit; ATK: 12; HIT: 90.5; CRIT: 2.5]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 15; Crit - 65.8
It's a hit! Momoka Suzuki takes 12 damage. (0/32 HP)
Momoka Suzuki is defeated!
Soul gained 60 experience points!
Momoka Suzuki gained 3 experience points!
"Ugh... a 63... and Kyre already healed Aless... whatever, one unit dead," called Falaflame. "We'll have to see what happens this turn. I'm expecting one of you being sent to the ER."
Zoryou advanced his units. He surrounded Aless with 3 mages.
"Welp," said Aless.
Kyoko Himeji attacks! [Item: Thunder; Skill: Nihil; ATK: 13; HIT: 92; CRIT: 3]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 75.5; Crit - 75.2
It's a hit! Aless takes 13 damage. (19/32 HP)
Aless counter-attacks! [Item: Hatchet; Skill: Counter; ATK: 13; HIT: 76.5; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 75.5; Crit - 55.6
It's a hit! Kyoko Himeji takes 13 damage. (16/29 HP)
Kyoko Himeji gained 14 experience points!
Aless gained 15 experience points!
Akari Kouda moved from (24, 10) to (20, 12).
Akari Kouda attacks! [Item: Worm; Skill: Counter; ATK: 12; HIT: 94.5; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 38.1; Crit - 37.7
It's a hit! Aless takes 12 damage. (7/32 HP)
Aless counter-attacks! [Item: Hatchet; Skill: Counter; ATK: 4; HIT: 74.5; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 91.2; Crit - 54.9
It's a miss!
Akari Kouda gained 17 experience points!
Aless gained 3 experience points!
"You kidding me, Shad," cried Falaflame. "You attacked three times, and missed twice!"
"Hey, it's not my fault RNG was shitting me." quipped Aless.
Ikue Ogawa attacks! [Item: Flux; Skill: Pursuit; ATK: 7; HIT: 93; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 53.2; Crit - 80.3
It's a hit! Aless takes 7 damage. (0/32 HP)
Aless is defeated!
Ikue Ogawa gained 45 experience points!
Aless gained 3 experience points!
"Well, I kinda expected that the way hitrates were looking against him." Said Falaflame, who shrugged. "Guess one is down on my--"
Eriko Takahashi attacks! [Item: Steel Axe; Skill: Nihil; ATK: 16; HIT: 61; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 6.8; Crit - 20.2
It's a hit! Kaishin takes 16 damage. (0/27 HP)
Kaishin is defeated!
Kaishin gained 3 experience points!
Falaflame winced. "NEVERMIND THEN. Make that two! Way to land an unreliable hit there."
Zoryou ended his turn. Now, Falaflame has to do something about the mess he's in now.
"Alright, it's still OK. We can still pull this out out of the hat," ordered Falaflame. "Take care of that assailant, and he's got 3 mages against our mystic, Mike! From range! He's left himself open!:
The assailant died easily to the two bow units, Consumptus and Mike. Soul finished him off with no problems.
Soul gained 42 experience points!
Soul leveled up!
Level: 12
HP: 28 -> 29 *+1!*
Power: 14 -> 14
Skill: 9 -> 9
Speed: 14 -> 14
Defense: 12 -> 12
Resistance: 7 -> 8 *+1!*
Luck: 7 -> 7
Falaflame shrugged. "Could've had a better one, but eh..."
"I wouldn't complain if I were you," said Soul sarcastically.
Falaflame ended the turn without the need to heal anyone. The next turn started with 3 units staring right at Consumptus.
"Oh, shit nuggets..." cried Consumptus.
Akari Kouda attacks! [Item: Flux; Skill: Counter; ATK: 13; HIT: 72.5; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 33.5; Crit - 54.6
It's a hit! Consumptus takes 13 damage. (19/32 HP)
Kyoko Himeji attacks! [Item: Fire; Skill: Nihil; ATK: 9; HIT: 80; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 63.5; Crit - 78
It's a hit! Consumptus takes 9 damage. (10/32 HP)
Ikue Ogawa attacks! [Item: Tendril; Skill: Pursuit; ATK: 12; HIT: 71; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 29.9; Crit - 92.1
It's a hit! Consumptus takes 12 damage. (0/32 HP)
Consumptus is defeated!
Consumptus began retreating. "Well, my job here's done!"
"Okay. 3 mages against mystic. We still got this!" ordered Falaflame. "Take out that annoying lunar!"
"Not a problem," chimed Mike.
"You got it," said Soul.
Mike attacks! [Item: Steel Bow; Skill: Nihil; ATK: 20; HIT: 77.5; CRIT: 1.5]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 71.5; Crit - 77.1
It's a hit! Ikue Ogawa takes 20 damage. (7/27 HP)
Ikue Ogawa counter-attacks! [Item: Tendril; Skill: Pursuit; ATK: 3; HIT: 84; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 22.7; Crit - 20.1
It's a hit! Mike takes 3 damage. (24/27 HP)
Ikue Ogawa attacks a second time! [Item: Tendril; Skill: Pursuit; ATK: 3; HIT: 84; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 75.7; Crit - 27.3
Ikue Ogawa's Pursuit skill activated!
It's a hit! Mike takes 3 damage. (21/27 HP)
Soul attacks! [Item: Shine; Skill: Pursuit; ATK: 9; HIT: 85.5; CRIT: 4.5]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 82.9; Crit - 72.3
It's a hit! Ikue Ogawa takes 9 damage. (0/27 HP)
Ikue Ogawa is defeated!
Soul's weapon level increased!
"Ohey, nice Soul," complimented Falaflame. "You're the first to be able to use Cs!"
"Hah!" chimed Soul with a fist pump.
Falaflame smirked. "Now all that's left is the remaining 2 mages! What's the worst that can possibly happen?"
And then, those exact words echo'd in his head all the way until the next few turns.
After retreating and setting his turns up by healing and switching Mike to Aurora, Falaflame prepared his next strike on the Dark Knight.
"Alright, I had you switch to Aurora for this. We're gonna need it, Mike!"
Mike attacks! [Item: Steel Bow; Skill: Aurora; ATK: 6; HIT: 81.5; CRIT: 3.5]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 61.3; Crit - 21.6
It's a hit! Akari Kouda takes 6 damage. (20/26 HP)
Akari Kouda counter-attacks! [Item: Worm; Skill: Impale; ATK: 4; HIT: 90.5; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 24.1; Crit - 78.3
It's a hit! Mike takes 4 damage. (19/27 HP)
Mike counters the attack! [Skill: Aurora; ATK: 3; HIT: 82; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 83.8; Crit - 56.4
Mike's Aurora skill activated!
It's a miss!
Falaflame shook his head. "Oh, really, a miss?"
Mike shrugged. "That didn't work out so well."
After another turn of Soul weakening the opposing cleric, and Zoryou weakening Kyre, Falaflame was given another chance to wipe the Dark Knight.
"Don't screw it up this time!" chimed Falaflame.
Mike attacks! [Item: Steel Bow; Skill: Aurora; ATK: 6; HIT: 80.5; CRIT: 2.5]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 68.7; Crit - 62
It's a hit! Akari Kouda takes 6 damage. (21/27 HP)
Akari Kouda counter-attacks! [Item: Flux; Skill: Impale; ATK: 7; HIT: 88; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 26.9; Crit - 40.4
It's a hit! Mike takes 7 damage. (12/27 HP)
Mike counters the attack! [Skill: Aurora; ATK: 5; HIT: 81; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 86; Crit - 90.2
Mike's Aurora skill activated!
It's a miss!
"What the fuck, again?" said Falaflame, not pleased at all.
"I can't help the fact the guy gets lucky dodges." quipped Mike.
"Well, set yourself straight. You're crucial to our win at this point!"
Another turn of both healers weakened, and another opportunity for Falaflame.
"Hurry it up guys, I'm at 1 HP..." chimed Kyre.
"Mike, for the love of FETO, please perform this simple task and--"
Mike attacks! [Item: Steel Bow; Skill: Aurora; ATK: 6; HIT: 80.5; CRIT: 2.5]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 85.1; Crit - 61.8
It's a miss!
Akari Kouda counter-attacks! [Item: Flux; Skill: Impale; ATK: 7; HIT: 88; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 41.5; Crit - 37.6
It's a hit! Mike takes 7 damage. (20/27 HP)
Mike counters the attack! [Skill: Aurora; ATK: 5; HIT: 81; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 26.4; Crit - 10.8
Mike's Aurora skill activated!
It's a hit! Akari Kouda takes 5 damage. (22/27 HP)
Mike's weapon level increased!
Falaflame trembled in frustration. "ARE... YOU... KIDDING ME.. Are you fucking blind? That's 3 times in a row you've done that!"
Mike rolled his eyes. "Well, yes I'm blind, but that's entirely a different--"
"Do I need to class change you and put a pair of spectacles on your fucking eyes? Because it appears to me you need them!"
After an enraged Falaflame had Kyre heal and Soul weaken the enemy cleric more, he ended the turn unsatisfied. Meanwhile, Zoryou looked at Falaflame with a confused look. "I'm surprised I'm even lasting this long."
"Well, yeah, because my mystic can't hit the broad side of a barn if he really tried to." chipped Falaflame.
Kyre soon died to a blick. Soul was damaged that same turn, too.
Akari Kouda attacks! [Item: Worm; Skill: Impale; ATK: 6; HIT: 86; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 75.3; Crit - 67.1
It's a hit! Kyre takes 6 damage. (0/32 HP)
Kyre is defeated!
Kyoko Himeji attacks! [Item: Thunder; Skill: Nihil; ATK: 12; HIT: 96.5; CRIT: 2.5]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 38.1; Crit - 38.2
It's a hit! Soul takes 12 damage. (17/29 HP)
Soul counter-attacks! [Item: Shine; Skill: Pursuit; ATK: 8; HIT: 70.5; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 66.1; Crit - 78.2
It's a hit! Kyoko Himeji takes 8 damage. (22/30 HP)
"Well, that could've been prevented," muttered Falaflame.
It became Falaflame's turn.
"OK. Get rid of that DK, NOW!"
"Tryin' my best," said Mike.
Mike attacks! [Item: Steel Bow; Skill: Aurora; ATK: 6; HIT: 80.5; CRIT: 2.5]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 87.7; Crit - 33.4
It's a miss!
Akari Kouda counter-attacks! [Item: Worm; Skill: Impale; ATK: 5; HIT: 93; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 1.7; Crit - 12.1
It's a hit! Mike takes 5 damage. (15/27 HP)
Mike counters the attack! [Skill: Aurora; ATK: 4; HIT: 81; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 17.2; Crit - 22.8
Mike's Aurora skill activated!
It's a hit! Akari Kouda takes 4 damage. (18/27 HP)
"Still couldn't hit that DK, couldn't you..." said a disappointed Falaflame. "...but thankfully I only needed one hit."
Soul attacks! [Item: Shine; Skill: Pursuit; ATK: 18; HIT: 98.5; CRIT: 5.5]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 23.7; Crit - 13.7
It's a hit! Akari Kouda takes 18 damage. (0/27 HP)
Akari Kouda is defeated!
"DING DONG, THE WITCH IS FINALLY DEAD!" yelled Falaflame in extreme relief. "But now I'm worried about this next turn..."
Zoryou's turn came up, damaged Mike more, and healed him.
"Great, he's 2HKO'd from here on out..." muttered Falaflame. "These next couple of turns are crucial!"
"Go finish their healer!
Soul attacks! [Item: Shine; Skill: Pursuit; ATK: 7; HIT: 77.5; CRIT: 3.5]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 85.5; Crit - 24
It's a miss!
Sachiko Nakajima could not attack!
Soul looked away. "Guess my luck ran out."
Falaflame shrugged. "Not necessarily. We still have Mike to finish it." He then shuddered at that very thought.
Mike attacks! [Item: Short Bow; Skill: Aurora; ATK: 14; HIT: 69.5; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 28.9; Crit - 19.5
It's a hit! Sachiko Nakajima takes 14 damage. (0/23 HP)
Sachiko Nakajima: Noooo!!
Sachiko Nakajima is defeated!
Falaflame sighed in relief. "Phew... I'm not liking these odds."
Zoryou began taking his turn, and attacks Soul with his only unit left available.
Kyoko Himeji attacks! [Item: Thunder; Skill: Nihil; ATK: 12; HIT: 96.5; CRIT: 2.5]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 60.6; Crit - 83.3
It's a hit! Soul takes 12 damage. (5/29 HP)
Soul counter-attacks! [Item: Shine; Skill: Pursuit; ATK: 8; HIT: 70.5; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 79.3; Crit - 44
It's a miss!
Falaflame dug his hands into his face. "You know what, why not?"
Soul shrugged. "I told you, my luck just ran out."
Falaflame threw his feather pen on the ground in disgust, and looks at his two remaining units on field and spoke loudly. "I did not win 885 battles to be thrown into the ground like this because of my team's inability to land a god damn hit when it's fucking needed. Keep in mind, 75% of all those fucking wins didn't come from me curbstomping newbies that don't know any better, they're against people who can hold their damn water. You guys, on the other hand, couldn't hit water if you fell out of a fucking BOAT. So do me a god damn favor, and do your damn job!"
Both units were in complete silence for a moment. Soul finally spoke after about a few minutes. "Well, that's a motivation speech if I've ever heard one..."
Falaflame's turn came back up. He's faced with a 2HKOable Mike and a 1HKOable Soul.
"Well, there's one thing we can do," Falaflame pondered. "Suicide bomb that mage, Soul."
Soul attacks! [Item: Shine; Skill: Pursuit; ATK: 8; HIT: 70.5; CRIT: 1.5]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 47.5; Crit - 24.9
It's a hit! Kyoko Himeji takes 8 damage. (22/30 HP)
Kyoko Himeji counter-attacks! [Item: Thunder; Skill: Nihil; ATK: 12; HIT: 96.5; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 55.6; Crit - 8.9
It's a hit! Soul takes 12 damage. (0/29 HP)
Soul is defeated!
Falaflame was dead silent through most of that turn, thinking to himself, maybe the opponent will attack Mike loaded with a shortbow.
Zoryou didn't.
"Well, I'm not attacking." said Falaflame. "I don't care if this battle goes nowhere.
"With my bad luck, that shortbow would probably hit," said Zoryou. "Want to just leave it at a draw?"
Falaflame sighed. "I guess there's no choice."
Hours later, back at the tavern...
"So, my team, what have we learned today?" asked Falaflame.
"That our greatest enemy is ourselves," answered Consumptus.
"That we really should've won that battle, all odds given," answered Aless.
"That as long as RNs are involved, no strategy is foolproof," answered Kyre
"That I need a class change," answered Mike.
"That I shouldn't rely so much on my lucky charm," answered Soul.
"That RNG is a fucking bitch," answered Kaishin.
Falaflame sat in complete silence from all the answers given to him. "But no matter what excuses we have," said Falaflame, "our streak is over."
Also keep in mind, these battles were rage-inducing, so I will have to remind you that there WILL be profanity in these posts. So if you REALLY mind your virgin eyes reading these posts, don't look ANY further.
Chapter 1: A Great Streak Broken
Falaflame raised his cup up in celebration of the last battle. "Alright, guys, we did well against Blue's team. Let's march forward with another battle!"
Soul and Kyre pumped each other's fists. "I'm down for another one," said Soul, "May my lucky charm keep us undefeated!"
Consumptus shrugged. "We're at Level 11 now. That's how many battles have we not lost?"
Kaishin gave the others a weird look. "Don't get cocky, guys. I don't want to see that outlook flip upside down whenever that streak gets broken."
Mike just popped another mug of whiskey, not even caring what's going on at the tavern. "Does it really matter?"
But the conversation got broken by a battle manager coming to inform the team about something. "Zoryou has joined your battle! Magic Library, 6 units, max level 11."
Falaflame smirked. "Well, he's going against us. Ready your shit, guys!"
Aless scoffed. "Pfft. This'll be no sweat."
Falaflame chipped in, saying, "Doesn't matter to me. All that matters is, you guys are getting your day's work in."
The battle had started. After about 4 turns of dancing, Zoryou left an opening for a two kill first strike.
"That's two kills right there, guys," called out Falaflame. "If we manage to miss one, it's ok. We can get by with 1 dead unit on their end. Just make sure they die!"
Aless moved in to ready up on the first target. "Well, time to seal this battle in the..."
Aless attacks! [Item: Hatchet; Skill: Counter; ATK: 13; HIT: 74.5; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 75.6; Crit - 20.2
It's a miss!
Kyoko Himeji counter-attacks! [Item: Wind; Skill: Nihil; ATK: 8; HIT: 100; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 57.8; Crit - 77
It's a hit! Aless takes 8 damage. (24/32 HP)
Aless gained 3 experience points!
Kyoko Himeji gained 15 experience points!
"...bag..."
Falaflame covered his face and started muttering. "Shit... well, we're off to a great start... let's kill at least one unit, cuz two kills is now out of the question!"
"On it!" said both Kaishin and Soul at the same time.
Kaishin attacks! [Item: Tendril; Skill: Pursuit; ATK: 10; HIT: 81; CRIT: 1]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 69.6; Crit - 28.9
It's a hit! Momoka Suzuki takes 10 damage. (22/32 HP)
Momoka Suzuki counter-attacks! [Item: Knife; Skill: Counter; ATK: 11; HIT: 63.5; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 48.9; Crit - 80.2
It's a hit! Kaishin takes 11 damage. (16/27 HP)
Kaishin attacks a second time! [Item: Tendril; Skill: Pursuit; ATK: 10; HIT: 81; CRIT: 1]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 73.5; Crit - 72.4
Kaishin's Pursuit skill activated!
It's a hit! Momoka Suzuki takes 10 damage. (12/32 HP)
Kaishin gained 15 experience points!
Momoka Suzuki gained 14 experience points!
Soul attacks! [Item: Lightning; Skill: Pursuit; ATK: 12; HIT: 90.5; CRIT: 2.5]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 15; Crit - 65.8
It's a hit! Momoka Suzuki takes 12 damage. (0/32 HP)
Momoka Suzuki is defeated!
Soul gained 60 experience points!
Momoka Suzuki gained 3 experience points!
"Ugh... a 63... and Kyre already healed Aless... whatever, one unit dead," called Falaflame. "We'll have to see what happens this turn. I'm expecting one of you being sent to the ER."
Zoryou advanced his units. He surrounded Aless with 3 mages.
"Welp," said Aless.
Kyoko Himeji attacks! [Item: Thunder; Skill: Nihil; ATK: 13; HIT: 92; CRIT: 3]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 75.5; Crit - 75.2
It's a hit! Aless takes 13 damage. (19/32 HP)
Aless counter-attacks! [Item: Hatchet; Skill: Counter; ATK: 13; HIT: 76.5; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 75.5; Crit - 55.6
It's a hit! Kyoko Himeji takes 13 damage. (16/29 HP)
Kyoko Himeji gained 14 experience points!
Aless gained 15 experience points!
Akari Kouda moved from (24, 10) to (20, 12).
Akari Kouda attacks! [Item: Worm; Skill: Counter; ATK: 12; HIT: 94.5; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 38.1; Crit - 37.7
It's a hit! Aless takes 12 damage. (7/32 HP)
Aless counter-attacks! [Item: Hatchet; Skill: Counter; ATK: 4; HIT: 74.5; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 91.2; Crit - 54.9
It's a miss!
Akari Kouda gained 17 experience points!
Aless gained 3 experience points!
"You kidding me, Shad," cried Falaflame. "You attacked three times, and missed twice!"
"Hey, it's not my fault RNG was shitting me." quipped Aless.
Ikue Ogawa attacks! [Item: Flux; Skill: Pursuit; ATK: 7; HIT: 93; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 53.2; Crit - 80.3
It's a hit! Aless takes 7 damage. (0/32 HP)
Aless is defeated!
Ikue Ogawa gained 45 experience points!
Aless gained 3 experience points!
"Well, I kinda expected that the way hitrates were looking against him." Said Falaflame, who shrugged. "Guess one is down on my--"
Eriko Takahashi attacks! [Item: Steel Axe; Skill: Nihil; ATK: 16; HIT: 61; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 6.8; Crit - 20.2
It's a hit! Kaishin takes 16 damage. (0/27 HP)
Kaishin is defeated!
Kaishin gained 3 experience points!
Falaflame winced. "NEVERMIND THEN. Make that two! Way to land an unreliable hit there."
Zoryou ended his turn. Now, Falaflame has to do something about the mess he's in now.
"Alright, it's still OK. We can still pull this out out of the hat," ordered Falaflame. "Take care of that assailant, and he's got 3 mages against our mystic, Mike! From range! He's left himself open!:
The assailant died easily to the two bow units, Consumptus and Mike. Soul finished him off with no problems.
Soul gained 42 experience points!
Soul leveled up!
Level: 12
HP: 28 -> 29 *+1!*
Power: 14 -> 14
Skill: 9 -> 9
Speed: 14 -> 14
Defense: 12 -> 12
Resistance: 7 -> 8 *+1!*
Luck: 7 -> 7
Falaflame shrugged. "Could've had a better one, but eh..."
"I wouldn't complain if I were you," said Soul sarcastically.
Falaflame ended the turn without the need to heal anyone. The next turn started with 3 units staring right at Consumptus.
"Oh, shit nuggets..." cried Consumptus.
Akari Kouda attacks! [Item: Flux; Skill: Counter; ATK: 13; HIT: 72.5; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 33.5; Crit - 54.6
It's a hit! Consumptus takes 13 damage. (19/32 HP)
Kyoko Himeji attacks! [Item: Fire; Skill: Nihil; ATK: 9; HIT: 80; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 63.5; Crit - 78
It's a hit! Consumptus takes 9 damage. (10/32 HP)
Ikue Ogawa attacks! [Item: Tendril; Skill: Pursuit; ATK: 12; HIT: 71; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 29.9; Crit - 92.1
It's a hit! Consumptus takes 12 damage. (0/32 HP)
Consumptus is defeated!
Consumptus began retreating. "Well, my job here's done!"
"Okay. 3 mages against mystic. We still got this!" ordered Falaflame. "Take out that annoying lunar!"
"Not a problem," chimed Mike.
"You got it," said Soul.
Mike attacks! [Item: Steel Bow; Skill: Nihil; ATK: 20; HIT: 77.5; CRIT: 1.5]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 71.5; Crit - 77.1
It's a hit! Ikue Ogawa takes 20 damage. (7/27 HP)
Ikue Ogawa counter-attacks! [Item: Tendril; Skill: Pursuit; ATK: 3; HIT: 84; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 22.7; Crit - 20.1
It's a hit! Mike takes 3 damage. (24/27 HP)
Ikue Ogawa attacks a second time! [Item: Tendril; Skill: Pursuit; ATK: 3; HIT: 84; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 75.7; Crit - 27.3
Ikue Ogawa's Pursuit skill activated!
It's a hit! Mike takes 3 damage. (21/27 HP)
Soul attacks! [Item: Shine; Skill: Pursuit; ATK: 9; HIT: 85.5; CRIT: 4.5]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 82.9; Crit - 72.3
It's a hit! Ikue Ogawa takes 9 damage. (0/27 HP)
Ikue Ogawa is defeated!
Soul's weapon level increased!
"Ohey, nice Soul," complimented Falaflame. "You're the first to be able to use Cs!"
"Hah!" chimed Soul with a fist pump.
Falaflame smirked. "Now all that's left is the remaining 2 mages! What's the worst that can possibly happen?"
And then, those exact words echo'd in his head all the way until the next few turns.
After retreating and setting his turns up by healing and switching Mike to Aurora, Falaflame prepared his next strike on the Dark Knight.
"Alright, I had you switch to Aurora for this. We're gonna need it, Mike!"
Mike attacks! [Item: Steel Bow; Skill: Aurora; ATK: 6; HIT: 81.5; CRIT: 3.5]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 61.3; Crit - 21.6
It's a hit! Akari Kouda takes 6 damage. (20/26 HP)
Akari Kouda counter-attacks! [Item: Worm; Skill: Impale; ATK: 4; HIT: 90.5; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 24.1; Crit - 78.3
It's a hit! Mike takes 4 damage. (19/27 HP)
Mike counters the attack! [Skill: Aurora; ATK: 3; HIT: 82; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 83.8; Crit - 56.4
Mike's Aurora skill activated!
It's a miss!
Falaflame shook his head. "Oh, really, a miss?"
Mike shrugged. "That didn't work out so well."
After another turn of Soul weakening the opposing cleric, and Zoryou weakening Kyre, Falaflame was given another chance to wipe the Dark Knight.
"Don't screw it up this time!" chimed Falaflame.
Mike attacks! [Item: Steel Bow; Skill: Aurora; ATK: 6; HIT: 80.5; CRIT: 2.5]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 68.7; Crit - 62
It's a hit! Akari Kouda takes 6 damage. (21/27 HP)
Akari Kouda counter-attacks! [Item: Flux; Skill: Impale; ATK: 7; HIT: 88; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 26.9; Crit - 40.4
It's a hit! Mike takes 7 damage. (12/27 HP)
Mike counters the attack! [Skill: Aurora; ATK: 5; HIT: 81; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 86; Crit - 90.2
Mike's Aurora skill activated!
It's a miss!
"What the fuck, again?" said Falaflame, not pleased at all.
"I can't help the fact the guy gets lucky dodges." quipped Mike.
"Well, set yourself straight. You're crucial to our win at this point!"
Another turn of both healers weakened, and another opportunity for Falaflame.
"Hurry it up guys, I'm at 1 HP..." chimed Kyre.
"Mike, for the love of FETO, please perform this simple task and--"
Mike attacks! [Item: Steel Bow; Skill: Aurora; ATK: 6; HIT: 80.5; CRIT: 2.5]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 85.1; Crit - 61.8
It's a miss!
Akari Kouda counter-attacks! [Item: Flux; Skill: Impale; ATK: 7; HIT: 88; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 41.5; Crit - 37.6
It's a hit! Mike takes 7 damage. (20/27 HP)
Mike counters the attack! [Skill: Aurora; ATK: 5; HIT: 81; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 26.4; Crit - 10.8
Mike's Aurora skill activated!
It's a hit! Akari Kouda takes 5 damage. (22/27 HP)
Mike's weapon level increased!
Falaflame trembled in frustration. "ARE... YOU... KIDDING ME.. Are you fucking blind? That's 3 times in a row you've done that!"
Mike rolled his eyes. "Well, yes I'm blind, but that's entirely a different--"
"Do I need to class change you and put a pair of spectacles on your fucking eyes? Because it appears to me you need them!"
After an enraged Falaflame had Kyre heal and Soul weaken the enemy cleric more, he ended the turn unsatisfied. Meanwhile, Zoryou looked at Falaflame with a confused look. "I'm surprised I'm even lasting this long."
"Well, yeah, because my mystic can't hit the broad side of a barn if he really tried to." chipped Falaflame.
Kyre soon died to a blick. Soul was damaged that same turn, too.
Akari Kouda attacks! [Item: Worm; Skill: Impale; ATK: 6; HIT: 86; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 75.3; Crit - 67.1
It's a hit! Kyre takes 6 damage. (0/32 HP)
Kyre is defeated!
Kyoko Himeji attacks! [Item: Thunder; Skill: Nihil; ATK: 12; HIT: 96.5; CRIT: 2.5]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 38.1; Crit - 38.2
It's a hit! Soul takes 12 damage. (17/29 HP)
Soul counter-attacks! [Item: Shine; Skill: Pursuit; ATK: 8; HIT: 70.5; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 66.1; Crit - 78.2
It's a hit! Kyoko Himeji takes 8 damage. (22/30 HP)
"Well, that could've been prevented," muttered Falaflame.
It became Falaflame's turn.
"OK. Get rid of that DK, NOW!"
"Tryin' my best," said Mike.
Mike attacks! [Item: Steel Bow; Skill: Aurora; ATK: 6; HIT: 80.5; CRIT: 2.5]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 87.7; Crit - 33.4
It's a miss!
Akari Kouda counter-attacks! [Item: Worm; Skill: Impale; ATK: 5; HIT: 93; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 1.7; Crit - 12.1
It's a hit! Mike takes 5 damage. (15/27 HP)
Mike counters the attack! [Skill: Aurora; ATK: 4; HIT: 81; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 17.2; Crit - 22.8
Mike's Aurora skill activated!
It's a hit! Akari Kouda takes 4 damage. (18/27 HP)
"Still couldn't hit that DK, couldn't you..." said a disappointed Falaflame. "...but thankfully I only needed one hit."
Soul attacks! [Item: Shine; Skill: Pursuit; ATK: 18; HIT: 98.5; CRIT: 5.5]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 23.7; Crit - 13.7
It's a hit! Akari Kouda takes 18 damage. (0/27 HP)
Akari Kouda is defeated!
"DING DONG, THE WITCH IS FINALLY DEAD!" yelled Falaflame in extreme relief. "But now I'm worried about this next turn..."
Zoryou's turn came up, damaged Mike more, and healed him.
"Great, he's 2HKO'd from here on out..." muttered Falaflame. "These next couple of turns are crucial!"
"Go finish their healer!
Soul attacks! [Item: Shine; Skill: Pursuit; ATK: 7; HIT: 77.5; CRIT: 3.5]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 85.5; Crit - 24
It's a miss!
Sachiko Nakajima could not attack!
Soul looked away. "Guess my luck ran out."
Falaflame shrugged. "Not necessarily. We still have Mike to finish it." He then shuddered at that very thought.
Mike attacks! [Item: Short Bow; Skill: Aurora; ATK: 14; HIT: 69.5; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 28.9; Crit - 19.5
It's a hit! Sachiko Nakajima takes 14 damage. (0/23 HP)
Sachiko Nakajima: Noooo!!
Sachiko Nakajima is defeated!
Falaflame sighed in relief. "Phew... I'm not liking these odds."
Zoryou began taking his turn, and attacks Soul with his only unit left available.
Kyoko Himeji attacks! [Item: Thunder; Skill: Nihil; ATK: 12; HIT: 96.5; CRIT: 2.5]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 60.6; Crit - 83.3
It's a hit! Soul takes 12 damage. (5/29 HP)
Soul counter-attacks! [Item: Shine; Skill: Pursuit; ATK: 8; HIT: 70.5; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 79.3; Crit - 44
It's a miss!
Falaflame dug his hands into his face. "You know what, why not?"
Soul shrugged. "I told you, my luck just ran out."
Falaflame threw his feather pen on the ground in disgust, and looks at his two remaining units on field and spoke loudly. "I did not win 885 battles to be thrown into the ground like this because of my team's inability to land a god damn hit when it's fucking needed. Keep in mind, 75% of all those fucking wins didn't come from me curbstomping newbies that don't know any better, they're against people who can hold their damn water. You guys, on the other hand, couldn't hit water if you fell out of a fucking BOAT. So do me a god damn favor, and do your damn job!"
Both units were in complete silence for a moment. Soul finally spoke after about a few minutes. "Well, that's a motivation speech if I've ever heard one..."
Falaflame's turn came back up. He's faced with a 2HKOable Mike and a 1HKOable Soul.
"Well, there's one thing we can do," Falaflame pondered. "Suicide bomb that mage, Soul."
Soul attacks! [Item: Shine; Skill: Pursuit; ATK: 8; HIT: 70.5; CRIT: 1.5]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 47.5; Crit - 24.9
It's a hit! Kyoko Himeji takes 8 damage. (22/30 HP)
Kyoko Himeji counter-attacks! [Item: Thunder; Skill: Nihil; ATK: 12; HIT: 96.5; CRIT: 0]:
Random Numbers: Hit - 55.6; Crit - 8.9
It's a hit! Soul takes 12 damage. (0/29 HP)
Soul is defeated!
Falaflame was dead silent through most of that turn, thinking to himself, maybe the opponent will attack Mike loaded with a shortbow.
Zoryou didn't.
"Well, I'm not attacking." said Falaflame. "I don't care if this battle goes nowhere.
"With my bad luck, that shortbow would probably hit," said Zoryou. "Want to just leave it at a draw?"
Falaflame sighed. "I guess there's no choice."
Hours later, back at the tavern...
"So, my team, what have we learned today?" asked Falaflame.
"That our greatest enemy is ourselves," answered Consumptus.
"That we really should've won that battle, all odds given," answered Aless.
"That as long as RNs are involved, no strategy is foolproof," answered Kyre
"That I need a class change," answered Mike.
"That I shouldn't rely so much on my lucky charm," answered Soul.
"That RNG is a fucking bitch," answered Kaishin.
Falaflame sat in complete silence from all the answers given to him. "But no matter what excuses we have," said Falaflame, "our streak is over."
Show me your moves.
Formerly known as Magus.